Chelsea : Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions

Chelsea Clinton came up with a "snappy answer" to a "stupid question". Stupid question because anyone who really wants to know already has an answer in mind before asking. From the NY Post:

Chelsea: Don't Ask!

March 26, 2008 -- INDIANAPOLIS - Chelsea Clinton had a quick retort yesterday when asked whether her mother's credibility had been hurt during the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

"Wow, you're the first person actually that's ever asked me that question in the, I don't know, maybe 70 college campuses I've now been to, and I do not think that is any of your business," Clinton said to a male questioner during a campaign visit to Butler University for Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

D. B. Or Not D. B.?

The New York Post comes through with another fine headline, this time on one of my favorite mysteries, D. B. Cooper, which I wrote about before.

D. B. Or Not D. B.? FBI eyes Chute

March 26, 2008 -- The FBI is analyzing a torn, tangled parachute found by kids in southwest Washington state to see whether it was used by legendary skyjacker D.B. Cooper when he jumped from a commandeered airliner 36 years ago.

The kids found the chute earlier this month sticking up from the ground while they were playing outside their home in the area where Cooper probably landed.

FBI Agent Larry Carr said the children pulled on the fabric as much as they could, and then cut the ropes.

"It's fragile to the touch, and it's obviously been in the ground for some time," Carr told KOMO-TV in Seattle.

On Nov. 24, 1971, Cooper - not his real name - boarded a Northwest Airlines flight from Portland to Seattle and seized control of the plane, claiming he had dynamite.

He demanded and received $200,000 and four parachutes and then ordered the pilots to fly him to Mexico.

Somewhere over southwestern Washington, he jumped from the aircraft's tail exit with two of the chutes and the money strapped to his body.

He was never seen again.

The FBI first said that Cooper was an experienced jumper, but has since concluded this was wrong and he probably didn't survive the leap.

With Post Wire Services

"I Made A Lot Of Phony Dough"

You just can't beat The New York Post for pun filled headlines and articles:

I Made A Lot Of Phony Dough

March 20, 2008 -- Any way you slice it, the dough cooked up at a Westchester pizzeria was bogus.

And yesterday, owner Frank Donato pleaded guilty to trying to get his piece of the pie by making counterfeit $50 bills in his back office at The Brick Oven Pizza Shop on Main Street in Dobbs Ferry.

In exchange for his plea to one count of first-degree forgery, a felony, in Westchester County Court in White Plains, the 39-year-old father of three will serve five years' probation.

He'll officially be sentenced June 18. According to prosecutors, Donato forged 16 phony 50s in his busy office at the 12-year-old pizza parlor.

He also owns Frankie's Homemade Ice Cream next door.

Both businesses are near the village police station.

Donato was busted Oct. 9 after a three-month undercover probe by the Greenburgh Drug and Alcohol Task Force, Secret Service and Dobbs Ferry detectives.

Neither he nor his lawyer, Bruce Bendish, would comment outside the courthouse after yesterday's hearing. But a call to the pizzeria last night found employees just a tad crusty over the matter.

"We're workers - we don't know anything," a peeved staffer said before abruptly hanging up.