Police Blotter, Brazilian Style

A really popular type of regional show in Brazil are the "police blotter" programs. They are on the radio and on TV. If you are from South Florida or are familiar with WSVN and the sensationalistic style when Rick Sanchez was there, you have an idea of what I am talking about. Think of it as the "morning drive" program, although a similar program will run around lunchtime as well in some places. On the radio, the host will talk about all the crimes registered with the police the night before. Murder here, robbery there, man beats his wife, guy drinks at bar and tries to leave without paying, etc. Whatever happened in the region. They will have a reporter at the jail who will interview the accused for their style of the story. Many times the person will fess up, on tape, with the whole city listening. They usually blame their behavior on alcohol. Every once in a while you will hear about someone stealing a donkey or a cow. The show is also used as a public forum. People will call up to say "my neighborhood has been without water for a week" or "I pay the tax on my light bill, but the street lights in front of my house have not worked in ages". Sometimes a girl will call up saying "So and so is a skanky ho who is messing with my husband and if I see her I'm going to smash her face in". People call in with complaints about noisy bars with "working girls" that are causing trouble in the neighborhood. Everyone has "Right of Reply" and you will get the other side of the story. It's hard to keep from spitting up your coffee when you hear some of the stories they tell.

The TV shows are really something else. People complain about violence on American television. In Brazil, they show the results. They show the bodies lying on the floor, the blood dripping down the street. They show mangled cars. They show wailing, crying relatives over a cloth draped body. Sometimes they interview crime victims, usually from behind and the voice altered to hide their identity. Then, you get the type of video I included below. This is a clip from the actual type of program I am describing. In this clip, the girl is accusing the elderly gentlemen of "not paying for services rendered". I am not going to translate it because it is pretty tedious due to all the slang, or "girias" used. It is easy to follow if you speak spanish, becuase many of the words are similar, and you can figure out more or less what they are talking about. Suffice to say the girl says she is a "professional" in the S-E-C-K-S trade. I spell it out because that is the equivalent of how she mispronounces it. The man says she doesn't even deserve one cent. He offered to pay R$5 (less then US$2.50) and she took it as an insult. The reporter asks the man if she "did her job" and he replies "no, not at all". "She sucked my thingy, wanted me to stick it up her ***, sucked my thingy for over an hour, wanted me to stick it up her ***." The host asks him if he ejaculated and he says "well I stuck my thingy in there for a while, then I took it out and she sucked it for a while till she got tired". The host asks him if he thinks she deserves at least R$30 (30 reais, less than US$15) and he replies "I give R$5.00 and that is as an act of charity." By the way, this program is on in the daytime, during lunch, when the whole family can watch the fireworks.