Joke E-Mails

When my mom (Mama!! I love ya!!) first got her email and started to use the web, she would forward me every joke, every "help Johnny collect a world record number of business cards before he dies of (insert rare terminal illness here)", every "don't stick your fingers in the change slot of the pay phone, lest you prick your fingers with an AIDS infested pin", you guys get the point. I guess she was excited about having an email, and she only wanted to make me laugh, or be alert and careful, like any Mom. With time, she got better. A lot better. The quality of what she forwarded improved. Now, rather than roll my eyes, I can be sure that whatever she sent will be enjoyable, and most get a good laugh out of me. It may be silly, but this one made me laugh, so thanks Ma!!

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. 'He's a funeral director,' she answered. 'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'